Life In The Valley Of The Sun: Grey.

I think I need all of my workout shirts to be grey. I felt pretty bad-ass after my run/workout today. ;)

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So the other "grey" topic involves my hair. The grey in my hair has significantly increased in the recent years (I blame the kids) and has become a real challenge to keep hidden. The high contrast "new growth" against my naturally very dark hair leads to me looking like I have bald spots. Not pretty. So, I decided to take the suggestion of lightening my base color (gradually) and adding highlights, in order to help camouflage the new growth by cutting down on the contrast. It worked. I can go a full 5 weeks and have only mildly noticeable grey. The downside is, it's expensive, it's frying the crap out of my already naturally dry & frizzy hair, and I don't particularly love the look on me. So. What next? I started considering letting my grey grow in. Crazy, I know. But why is it so crazy? Why is it so absurd to actually allow yourself to be, and look like, your true authentic self? If more women did that, it wouldn't feel so completely bizarre to be not quite 40 and have a sh*t load of grey hair. Chances are most of the women I know my age have a fair amount of grey too. I may have more due to genetics, or I've even read that thyroid disorders can lead to premature greys, but who cares? I'm hoping I have the same beautiful silvery white hair that my Mom & Grandpa have/had. I see some of it shining in there, I just can't tell how much. I think it could look pretty awesome, particularly against my dark hair. I already have a complexion that works best with cool tones, so I'm not worried about being "washed out". I feel washed out now (only sometimes, usually right after my color is done) with the blonde. There is also a part of that wants to do it, sort of to give society the finger! Screw you for telling me I can't have grey hair AND feel attractive, young, sexy, etc. If we weren't all brainwashed into feeling compelled to try and pretend we're younger than we really are (by covering up any evidence of the contrary), we'd all probably feel pretty damn good about ourselves.

I stumbled upon this blog post the other day and I loved what this woman (who also started her transition at 39) said about the process.....

"You see, for me, it has really become all about the message that a young(ish) face and a head full of salt-and-pepper hair sends to the world. And I like what that message is saying. It is saying “yeah, that’s right. Look at it…stare, even. It’s gray. And it is gray because I am brave. Braver than you, even. I am brave and different and nobody else on the planet will have hair like this, because this hair is unique to me and me alone.”

Yeah!! What she said! :) Therefore, I'm officially growing out my grey hair. (Yikes. I just said that "out loud") I'm really excited and really nervous all at once. My fears mostly stem from what other people will think... you're going to look older (Maybe. But, I suspect it might be more accurate to say that I will likely look my age *gasp* God forbid), you're letting yourself go, ... You get the idea. None of those are things that I really want others to think when they look at me, so of course it creeps in and makes me nervous about the process. I also worry that people will mistake me for my kids' grandmother. lol All are silly, rather insignificant fears, but real ones nonetheless. One minute, I feel great about it and the next I have a moment of complete panic. Like this morning. I went to the bathroom to put my hair up and caught a glimpse of the new growth along my scalp. Of course I leaned in for closer examination. :) Suddenly, I thought "OMG, I think I might have WAY more grey than I thought... like more than a cool salt & pepper look!" Then I started a little internal freak out. "Can I really do this? Should I really do this? Am I going to look ridiculous?" I suspect this hamster wheel of emotions is going to continue to spin wildly throughout this process. I have my hair appointment this Friday to make our first attempt at blending in the grey vs covering it up! There are some strikingly beautiful women out there with their natural grey hair... and they're not all 80 years old. lol Of course I created an entire Pinterest board to remind myself. I'm hoping I can be one of those women that other women tell "Oh, if I knew my grey hair looked like that underneath, I'd totally grow mine out too!" lol Fingers crossed.

As of today... here's my grey creeping it's way in. :) Obsess much?